To my fellow Bourbon Democrats and Interested Mugwumps,
I write to you this day to inform you about the launch of our campaign. After the recent announcement of my intention to seek my party's nomination, a surge of interest and goodwill has arisen to meet me. I have been overwhelmed and delighted by your notes, letters, and affirmations of all kinds. That so many of you still think highly enough of me to consider once again offering me the keys to the White House truly humbles me.
One such person from whom I have received support is Professor Peter C. Campbell. As you may remember from three years ago, Professor Campebll launched an airship revolution in this nation with his America. Starting from Coney Island, his foot-powered dirigible set sail into the unknown sky. I was fortunate to be in attendance at this extraordinary event. Though the America was lost at sea, Professor Campbell launched a mode of transport that grows ever more perfect with each passing year.
In gratitude for my attendance at the launch during a whirlwind campaign year, Professor Campbell has graciously offered his America II for my use in the coming campaign. Earlier this morning, I visited the Brooklyn warehouse where he has been working around the clock on its construction. It is a formidable ship, even grander than the original. Professor Campbell has worked tirelessly on it for over 23 consecutive months, with little sleep and nominal support. The rapidity with which he works is a wonder to behold. Rarely have I seen a man such efficient use of his third and fourth arms.
The ship is nearly complete, and it only requires one missing component: YOU! This foot-powered dirigible requires several persons working in tandem to keep it in the air. Today, I am asking you to volunteer to pedal for a portion of our campaign tour across the nation. Meals will be provided, though you will have to purchase a train ticket back to your home upon our landing. You may indicate your interest by responding to this letter.
Are you able? Are you willing? Are you prepared to put your foot where your mouth is? Join the tour! Dine with me and Frances! See this glorious nation for yourself, as we set sail into the future!