To my fellow Bourbon Democrats and interested Mugwumps,

I write this report to you from the grand Palmer House in Chicago! I have only just joined Frances here in the Presidential Suite moments ago. I am in need of a cigar! 

The steam engine whipped us through Indiana, into Union Station. We then rode a waiting caravan of oxen tri-cycles directly to the convention! We arrived at the Wigwam after the opening session but before the initial ballot. I laughed heartily as the blood drained from the faces of Mr. Hill and his Tammany Hall cronies upon our entrance!

On account of my disappearance, Mr. Hill and even Mr. Boies had built up a certain degree of credulity. After I ascended to the podium to recount my journeys, though, the crowd roared in approval. I am pleased to announce that we required only the first ballot! I humbly accepted my party's nomination, and I will now seek to build an all-encompassing coalition to ensure that we take back the White House.

Regretfully, I must also inform you that Mr. Gray did not receive the vice-presidential nomination. Mr. Gray is a former Republican and now dedicated Democrat. I had hoped our party faithful would understand that a ticket with him would easily draw trans-partisan support. Alas, it was not so. There are members of our party who truly fear our dedication to God and Gold Alone. As such, Mr. Adlai Stevenson received the vice-presidential nomination.

As you can no doubt surmise, Mr. Stevenson and I do not agree on all things. He advocates for Silver, I for Gold. Still, I have worked happily with Mr. Stevenson before on several occasions. I have no doubt of his dedication to our party, and his willingness to suppress his own agenda in order to support our cause.

I invite your ongoing support as our campaign rolls forward toward November!

Grover Cleveland